Pictures of You

This is what I have hanging above my piano in my house. There's all my little people in a row. In case you can't see it, the sign above the pictures says, "See the Possibilities."

I had an interesting conversation with one of my friends the other day. She told me that her son and her daughter both had major anxiety issues, and they would get very emotional or cry if they were nervous or unsure in any unfamiliar situation. I gave my condolences and mumbled something about how kids are so funny and don't they come up with strange behaviors sometimes. She corrected me and said, "No, my husband just has really strict standards for them, and if they don't measure up, they get in trouble." She was telling me that they had made a parenting mistake and were now seeing the aftermath.

When I used to be an important person who had a full-time job and a paycheck, my boss gave me some advice I will never forget. He was a seasoned parent of six, 40 years old (so old!), and had the wisdom of his own parenting shortfalls behind him. He said, "The trick is to love your kids for the children they are, not the children you want them to be." I think we often fall into the trap of, "My kid is so good at this," or "My kid will be a successful---(fill in the blank)," when really they just want to be a zookeeper or a cake decorator.

It's been fun for me to try to encourage my children's interests in the times they have them, not when I decide it's okay for them to like something. Abby and Emma have always had a chalkboard, and they love to "teach" but really they just like to boss people. Wyatt loved the American flag for a while. We had lots of 99 cent flags laying around our house, desecrated and laying on the floor. Sam loves to build with anything, but Legos in particular. We have a huge secondhand bucket of Legos and he spends hours building intricate holders for popsicles and ships for droids. I try to ignore all the little bits on the floor and the pieces strewn all over the bookcases. Maggie, she just loves animals. And not your everyday run of the mill little girl animals. We're talking llamas, frogs, giraffes, horses (okay, that's girly) and sharks. Far be it for me to try to get them to be interested in something else. That's just money wasted at the toy store!

Loving kids is easy. Letting them be who they are is hard.