My Very Own Christmas Story

A funny thing happened to me the other day. I felt as thought I was living in a movie. Not an action packed movie like Rambo or anything, but we watched a classic movie with our kids and I had the realization that both of my boys were represented on the screen.

Can you tell who I'm talking about yet? Wyatt is soooo Ralphie. One track mind. Does good things so he can get rewards later. Imitates his dad. Sam is soooooo Randy. Never eats voluntarily. Whines a lot. Very cute, but very annoying to his big brother. Hates to wear his puffy coat.

Needless to say, I love the movie, "A Christmas Story." I love the leg lamp and the neighbor's dogs, the chinese turkey and the pink bunny pajamas. I love the 40s decor and vintage soap boxes in the background. I love the tree with huge lights on it and the dad who cusses all the time. But I really, really love seeing my boys on the screen. Every time Randy hides under the cupboard drinking a glass of milk I think of Sam hiding in the linen closet drinking from his sippy cup. Every time Ralphie tries to convince his parents to buy him that rifle and keeps trying and keeps trying, I think of Wyatt's determination to get things his way whether anyone likes it or not. When I see those two boys fighting each other to get up the stairs first on Christmas Eve I think of my boys, well, fighting to get up the stairs first on Christmas Eve. Sometimes it's good to know a movie by heart. I get to live this one every day.

A Day at the Beach

There are so many lessons to be learned from beach living. We were only there for a few hours during our trip to Disneyland, but here are the things I realized:

1. There are things in this world that are so big that no man can have control over them. Nor should he. You must simply watch them and admire their vastness. It made me think of my life. There are lots of things I can't control, but I have to make peace with them and appreciate the beauty in them.

2. Stay on the safe side. Don't swim out too far or you might not come back. Another great analogy for lots of wicked things floating around us these days. Or you can be like Sam and stay as far away from them as you can.3. Stick together with the people that matter most.

4. Find something to do with what you have.

5. Be your own you...no one is looking at how you look in your swimming suit. They are all too busy worrying about how they look in their own swimming suits. 6. Sometimes doing something simple and boring is the funnest thing to do.7. You are stronger than seaweed. Get over your queasiness and just pick it up. It's just seaweed. 8. Take time to stop and smell the sea water.I think these universal lessons are why people gravitate to the oceans and lakes of the world. So often in this whirlwind society of today we forget that we are simply people. We can't hold back the tide. We can't change the wind or move walls of water. We can only do so much, and it's good to be reminded every now and again that we aren't all powerful or all knowing. Sometimes it's good to just be. And it's even better if you can be with the people you love more than anything else.

A Sea, A Sea, My Kingdom for a Sea....

My husband's day off is Tuesday. Which means that every Tuesday, without fail, I overschedule myself to try and fit in all the things I need to do that week in one day so I can take advantage of the free babysitting. This week I came home from hours of I don't even know what to find a sea of blue striped wrapping paper in the living room. I'm talking a whole roll of Costco wrapping paper. I walked up to my husband with an incredulous look on my face. "What on earth is this huge mess?" I gaped. "Oh, we had a great time while you were gone," he smiled. Obviously.

Moms look at things differently than Dads. What is to a Mom a huge mess or accident waiting to happen is Dad's opportunity for fun and memories. What to a Mom is an chance to teach responsibility for yourself by cleaning up your huge mess is to a Dad something to leave around for the rest of the day in case you want to play with it again. This is the beauty of family. We balance each other out. And not just the parents. Siblings do it, too.

For example, Sam is pretty much a one track minded kid, and I mean that literally. He loves trains. He loves building miles of tracks and will play by himself for hours if you let him. Maggie loves people, so she is always asking Sam to play with her and getting him to laugh with her and hug her. He, in turn, has taught her to appreciate the finer points of Thomas the Tank Engine.

My oldest daughter is sloppy and messy, and my second oldest is neat and tidy. Oldest doesn't care what people think about her and younger is so sensitive she rarely makes it through the school day without tearing up. The other day, oldest decided to write youngest a letter, telling her about all the things oldest thought were totally awesome about youngest. The change in youngest has been palpable. Abby didn't think twice about telling Emma she was smart and insightful and clean and loving because she doesn't care what Emma thinks about her. Emma will always treasure these words from her big sister because she does care what Abby thinks about her. It's the perfect marriage of personality.

Sometimes we fight in our family. It's bound to happen. Seven different personalities under one roof? I call that MTV's Real World. People pay good money to watch that on TV. But when we are fighting, I try to remember this sea of paper and remember that we all are helping each other in ways we don't recognize because we are different. The love and fond memories that come from destroying a whole huge roll of wrapping paper are important ones. As well as the lesson learned by cleaning up when Mom comes home.

The Hidden Treasure

I was walking around my house the other day looking for my three year old who was entirely too quiet. After looking all over the top floor of my house, I decided to give up and go downstairs. Then something caught my eye. A shape that looked a little familiar was on the ground where my bedspread was. I carefully walked up to it and felt it. It was warm. I peeled back the edge of the blanket and there she was, safely wrapped in Mom's bedspread, oblivious to the fact that she was asleep on the floor. I was overcome with peace looking at this little bundle of person. For a moment I wished I was the one blissfully sleeping the afternoon away. Then I wanted to lay down on the carpet and snuggle with her, because she's so grumpy when she's awake that the only time she's loving and tender it seems is when she's asleep. Then I was glad she was resting, and crept off to do another job or something totally unimportant. I'm so glad I found this hidden treasure. It made me think of all the things or people I just walk right by so many times a day that I don't appreciate. I take for granted the many things that I have right here next to me and continue to wish for better things that don't matter. My materialism is rearing it's ugly head right now. There are so many things I would like to do, so many items I'd like to have, that I get caught up in how many pennies it will take for me to reach my goals of getting stuff. And I walk right by the thing I'm looking for because it's covered in the everyday. Making a point of looking for the hidden treasure is what takes talent. Spending time with little kids who love you even though you have a messy kitchen takes time. Doing what is smart with your money instead of being frivolous and spending it on things you want is difficult. But they are all worth doing and all will bring more happiness than a house full of stuff that doesn't look sweet when it's sleeping.

Happy New Year's!

In case you didn't know, New Year's is really in late August. Everything is new, everyone is motivated, and there's a new schedule to follow. The only thing we don't have is a new calendar. I should just buy one of those 16-month deals so I can really feel the holiday spirit.

Every year, on New Year's Day, I take a picture of my kids on our front step to show how much they've grown and what they wore on the first day. Too bad we don't live in the same house with the same porch that we lived in when I started this tradition. We have an addition to the New Year's participants this year: child #4. Finally big enough to go to the big kid school, finally big enough for a backpack. It's enough to make you want to throw confetti and have a stiff drink.

Lightning Strikes...Twice

25 Random Things about this group of people:

1. My husband is the tallest guy I know. And here is the proof. That makes him hot.

2. The first boy I ever fell in love with is in this picture. And he still talks to me. Love ya, Matt.

3. The first boy I ever fell in love with didn't tell my husband any embarrassing stories about me. Still love ya, Matt.

4. I am better friends with Clayton now than I was in high school. Back then I was so unappreciative of good humor. But now, being fully mature and all, I am so glad to be associated with Clayton's brain.

5. I got to see McCall twice in two months. Luckeee.

6. Jon can do a great impression of Troy. And if you don't know Troy, you are missing out.

7. All roads lead to Clayton's brother, Todd.

8. Some restaurants have gluten free menus! And some waiters will get them for you after only two times asking.

9. I have almost all boy friends from high school. That's weird. But I'm lucky because now I have three new girl friends because they all married really cool chicks.

10. Libby is one of the calmest, soothing people I have ever met. And I got to talk to her for two hours. It was zen-like. She must have a lot of practice from living with Clayton.

11. You can still get a good picture even if you have a fingerprint smudge on your lens.

12. I discovered all of us had checked ourselves out of school by forging our parents' signatures at some time or another. It's so weird we all have the ability to forge signatures...like we're connected...but we've never done it since high school. Hmmm.

13. Even though none of us really paid attention in school, we all are fully functioning adults. If that doesn't reaffirm your faith in the school system, I don't know what will.

14. Apparently I have the best memory of details from 20 years ago than anyone in this picture.

15. Jon has gotten over his shy side and decided to tell us exactly what he thinks about getting his picture taken. I think he's trying to say, "What's taking you so long, waiter?"

16. Clayton told me he had shaved off his mustache but apparently can regrow a goatee in only 12 hours.

17. Matt's wife is one of the lucky ones who can wear a pixie haircut and not look like a boy. Unlike another girl in that picture who used to have short hair but was often mistaken for a boy...

18. McCall and Jon don't have kids yet, so they know all about the best restaurants in town. I got some great recommendations. I only know where to order chicken nuggets and Sprite.

19. Clayton taught me how to eat brie for the first time. It helps when you go on a mission to Belgium/Brussels with Jon.

20. Jon knows how to make Clayton instantly cry. Don't ask.

21. My husband is the world's greatest living expert on the City of St. George.

22. Just because you thought you were going to be something when you went to high school doesn't mean you will end up doing that for a job when you grow up. Unless you're Matt, who was born to be an accountant.

23. Sitting around and eating hummus and pitas with people makes you think you know them. And then they drink four Cokes and you think you might not.

24. Friendship isn't measured by the amount of time you spend with someone, but by the amount of fun you have with people when you spend time with them.

25. We have the most supportive spouses who will agree to be dragged along to dinner with people they have never met and listen to us talk about bandanas and ripped jeans and the good old days. Go Vikes!

Sometimes lightning strikes and you get to associate with awesome, funny people for a while. And sometimes it strikes twice.

How to Dinosaur

There are few things in life my children are experts at. One of them is to consume an entire bag of chips in one meal. Another is how to "do" the dinosaur museum.

When you see the billboard for the dinosaur museum, it says, "World's Largest Dinosaur Museum. Really." And you think, "In Utah? Are you sure?" They are right. I'm here to tell you, because I've been through it about 200 times. There are few things ALL of my children like to do as much as see our nearby Museum of Ancient Life.

The first thing you have to do is go through space. There is a walkway that is pitch black covered with little stars. Luckily now they have an escape hallway to the side so you don't have to take the scared two-year-old through it. (I have had 4 2-year-olds who have been scared of space. Maybe they should rethink that one.)

Then, you run as fast as you can through the educational exhibits and dinosaur skeletons until you get to this thing. You can only play here for a total of 5 minutes or as long as it takes for mom to catch up to you.

Then you get to the sand and water exhibit, where you can build dams and islands and watch the effects of water on earth. Or you can hoard all the play dinosaurs from the other kids. Or you can go way overboard and use every bit of sand that is on your side and make a small diorama of Lagoona Beach. You can even do this if you are 12.

I had to show this. Apparently now they have gnomes hidden throughout the exhibits. I am a gnome lover, and I hate to say it, but I didn't see a single one. Hmm, this smells of a conspiracy.

Then you come to the grand denoument of the exhibit: The mega-shark. You pretend you're going to be eaten and you think that maybe this time you might be able to take one of those teeth, but mom always sees.

Then you get to dig for dinosaur bones with a paintbrush, and according to the little boy digging by us, "You never know what you're digging up until you dig it up."

There are things you can do at the dinosaur museum that you can't do anywhere else. For example, you can carry around mom's camera case and pretend you are Indiana Jones. Then you find an awesome pith helmet at the gift shop and you magically turn into Henry Jones. You can be a kid even when you are in 8th grade, because you are far enough away from your neighborhood that none of your homies will see you having fun. Most of all, you get to be with your brothers and sisters in a place where you don't fight about anything and you outnumber the grownups. You may even become an expert on dinosaurs.

Of Grandmas and Ostriches

This is a picture of my 12-year-old daughter. She has an unnatural obsession with ostriches. I asked her why one day, and she said, "Because, Mom, an ostrich is a bird that can't fly!" I'll agree that ostriches are quite the natural oxymoron, but I still don't get it. So when my daughter decided to do a Young Women's project involving an ostrich blanket, I rolled my eyes and muttered, "Why don't you do a practical blanket, like one you could use for the natural disaster we are always preparing for?" But it would not do.

Enter Grandma. As soon as my daughter said she wanted to do an ostrich blanket and could Grandma please help her, the wheels started turning. Grandma said, "Well, we'll need some brown fabric and some clip art." Not, "Why the heck would you want to waste perfectly good fabric on an ostrich blanket?" Not, "Why don't we find another pattern, dear." She was instantly accepting of the need to do an ostrich blanket.

That is the beauty of Grandma. She gives children the chance to explore their dreams within safe parameters. She never belittles them for their odd interests, and, in fact, encourages them. Doing something with Grandma is like a child's dream come true. Not only is she generous and available, she is kind and thoughtful. You may think all Grandmas are this way. You may be thinking, well, my grandma loved me just as much as yours does. Well, I can't argue with that. But ask your Grandma to help you with an ostrich blanket and see what she says. This is the true litmus test of love.

How Time Flies

Once upon a time, long, long ago in a neighborhood far, far away, there lived a little girl who had a huge crush on Jonny Nelson. They went to school for six long years, and the little girl pined away for the boy who always sat behind her in the classes they had together. (Her last name was M, his last name as N) Eventually, she got over it and decided they could be friends. She was ok with it. But she always secretly carried a torch for that boy.

The girl and the boy both grew up. They became successful individuals. They both married true loves. And then, the stars aligned and they were able to eat lunch together 18 long years after the last time they talked, before the boy flew away on a plane and was gone for a long, long time.

The girl was very nervous to see the boy again. She thought too much time had passed. He wouldn't want to be her friend anymore. He would laugh at her ridiculous attempt to parent all the children she dragged around with her. She practiced in her mind all the witty stories and things she could say to impress him and his sweet, wonderful new wife. But then, they saw each other, and the time warp started, and all the worries were gone. We chatted about the curve balls we've had in life, jobs, children, and life in the mountains. We chased children and ate pizza, we tricked the little kids with decapitated fingers and pretended no time had passed at all. Before I knew it the day was gone and we had to leave. The girl now had two friends, the boy and his fabulous and talented wife, who freely hugs and loves strangers like they were her own long lost chums. The boy and his wife are such delightful people. The girl realized she had picked a good friend. It was a lovely day. The end.

25 Things I Love About Jeff

So, everyone has probably heard of the "25 Random Things About Me" note that is traveling through Facebook. As I was reading through my friends Jon and McCall's blog the other day, I noticed they did these about each other. So clever, I thought, and moved on to the next harried thought in my brain. But then, I thought I should probably do that for my husband because chances are, you've heard me express my frustration with him in the past. However, I want you all to know I adore my husband. Even more than my darling, precious children. So Jeffie, this one's for you.

1. He is superbly gifted in the art of selling. So he always gets his way at home.
2. He is terribly handsome. I always enjoy having a good look at him.
3. We make cute blond, blue-eyed babies. Hence, we call ourselves the Aryan nation.
4. He is supremely confident. Whenever I ask him if he knows how to fix something or can do something requiring skill, he goes, "pssshhh" and says, "Of course I can fix that."
5. He is a fantastic driver. In his own words, "I can drive anything that wears hair."
6. He almost always eats what I make for dinner.
7. He loves our kids. A lot. He's the fun one everyone wants to hang around with and have him powerbomb them onto the couch.
8. He can jump super high on the tramp.
9. He appreciates history and antiques. Nothing old is trash to him.
10. He takes grand care of the vehicles we drive. He even knows how to fix them most of the time.
11. He puts people at ease. People get around Jeff and they start telling him things they haven't even told their bishop yet because they are so relaxed and comfortable. This comes in handy when you are married to a high-strung wife.
12. He always makes me laugh. Even when I'm mad and grumpy, he can always get me to smile.
13. He reads the Book of Mormon every single night.
14. He is tall and can reach the top shelf or the light bulbs anytime. Also comes in handy when your wife is shrimpy.
15. He is strong. I've tried to take him in wrestling, but he always wins.
16. Every time he gets his picture taken, he either makes a serial killer face or a totally goofy one. It's even on his drivers' license. (He chose serial killer that day.)
17. He was brave enough to marry me in the temple. Forever.
18. He loves dogs and babies.
19. He loves music and I love to listen to him play the guitar. If you give him enough time, he can play pretty much any song.
20. He's "The Sharp Dressed Man." He irons his clothes, he combs his hair, he wears cologne, and he takes pride in how he looks.
21. He doesn't have to shave every day.
22. He's a softie and cries real tears every time we watch "Ice Age" and the baby walks to the dad.
23. He has a studly, and accurate, three-point basketball shot.
24. He can kick your butt in golf every day of the week.
25. He's my best friend.

I could go on forever. Love you, babe!

I Love a Parade

The reason for all holidays is children, don't you think? I mean, if grown-ups were in charge of the world, we'd have half a day off to organize our e-mail addresses and de-bug our gadgetry once every three months and call it good. Without children, we'd never stop to smell the food cook, or listen to the crazy dogs bark, or examine any bugs on the sidewalk. And we'd certainly never have a parade.

I grew up in a little town in Northern Davis County called Centerville. You can't get much more middle-class America than that. Centerville's claim to fame is it's annual 4th of July parade and carnival. I have been going to this parade since I was 6 years old and amazingly look forward to it every year. This parade has it all:

floats,

candy thrown at you from said floats,

clowns,

firetrucks,

horses,

and jets from the Air Force Base that do a flyover every year. My dad and I cry every time the jets go by. One time I asked him why he gets so choked up and he said, "It's just because they're there. They're there to protect us. Just knowing that makes me so grateful for those pilots." I hope our kids feel the same way about us when they grow up. They'll wonder, "Why did mom and dad get up so early on a sleep in day and drive us for 35 minutes to sit in the heat and watch the same parade over and over again every year?" And I hope they answer with, "Because they were there. They cared about us and wanted to make sure we knew what was important." Maybe they'll get choked up and realize that we did things that were purely for them. And they'll remember and be grateful for their parent/pilots, who needed an escape from the drudgery and stress of life and were grateful they had children, because there was an excuse to miss work and watch a parade. Because you get more from a parade than sweaty brows and hoarse voices. You get togetherness, as a family and as a community. And you get the candy.

We Love the Flag

When my son, Wyatt, was about three years old, he was such a handful. He would escape from my house and run to the neighbors' yard and jump on their trampoline. The trampoline which happened to be set up on top of concrete. He would run away from me in stores and hide amongst the rounders of clothes like a little mouse and I would panic and call the security guard and he would just walk up to me like it was no big deal. He would cry if we couldn't drive by every fire station in town to see the "rojos" or fire trucks. But most of all, he loved the flag.

Every time we went to Harmon's grocery store, he would try to run across the parking lot (!) to the huge flagpole to look up at the giant flag they have there. I would have to be Johnny-on-the-spot every time I took him to the store so he went directly from car seat to grocery cart seat. Both with buckles blazing. He wanted to hold every flag we saw in the store. He just loved to wave the flag. This came in handy when I needed to distract him. I made up a little song to sing while we waved our flags, and it went, "We love the flag, We love the flag," sung over and over to the tune of "Three Blind Mice." Not poetry, but something a three-year-old could grasp.

One day, I noticed that the house was quiet and I sprinted to the front door, wondering where my boy was. Not to worry. He was totally naked and parading in front of my house dragging our Boy Scout flag behind him on the sidewalk, singing "We Love the Flag" at the top of his lungs. This is our flag. You can see that it has a hole worn into it from where he dragged it on the ground. And every time I look at it, for some reason I am not angry that he ruined our flag or embarrassed that three of my neighbors witnessed this parade. I am grateful. Grateful that my son was patriotic at such a young age. Grateful that he loved the flag, of all things. And grateful that he wasn't afraid to tell everyone how he felt about it. We love you, America. We love the flag.

Ladies of the Night

Ok, we are officially not THOSE Ladies of the Night, but we are the Girls' Night Women. I could not let another blog day go by without writing about these women I have grown so close to over the last few years. Nine years ago I moved into their neighborhood, shy, insecure, and not too sure of myself. Our friendship and conversations have influenced me so much that I consider them a part of my psyche. Each of their 15 minutes of fame starts...now.

Let's just start with Kirsten. She's the muscley, fitness-type standing next to me. Kirsten was one of the first people I met when I moved into Ye Olde Neighborhood, and she has always been one of my favorite people. Kirsten has this calming quality that draws everyone to her. She is the most tender hearted person I have met in a long time. One of my cherished memories of Kirsten is that when Emma was about 2 years old, she would watch her one day a week for me while I worked. She was never put out about babysitting. She taught me that having kids over at your house is really no big deal. (It was a big deal to me at the time...it seriously freaked me out.) Kirsten is always ready to pitch in to get the job done. She has helped me paint more than once, and the best part is she wears cleaning gloves to protect her fake nails. Even though she is the slimmest person I know, she never judges anyone by size or outward appearance. All are welcome at Kirsten's love table. Love that girl.

Moving on to dark-haired JoLayna, who we joke is Mary Poppins--Practically Perfect in Every Way. Here's the thing about JoJo: she is so good at so many things that it's hard not to want to sit at her feet and take notes about how she does everything. JoLayna's talent is prioritizing and organizing. As the mother of twin boys and two other children, one time she told me, "I have no choice but to be organized." It's true. Her house is streamlined and de-crappified to enviable proportions. If she can't afford to do a home improvement project, she's not pouty about it. She just knows it's not at the top of the list. End of story. JoLayna helped me get Abby's baptism (a blended-family affair that was quite nerve-wracking) completely stress-free and totally joyous. She also taught me how to clean a bathroom the right way. She is the master of all things technology and gadgetry. She always knows how to use the newest feature on her Blackberry. Above all, JoLayna has a keen sense of what is right. What is the right thing to do in this situation? is a question she is asked often. She just knows. Almost like the Buddha. But not fat.

Then there's Anna, in the Michigan sweatshirt. Anna was the first person I met to really tell it like it is. I've never had anyone ever tell me something (albeit true) about myself that I thought no one knew and make me feel simultaneously embarrassed and willing to change that dreaded habit. She has the gift of insight, and when you think you can BS someone, Anna will gladly tell you you are full of BS. Not in a totally mean way, but not in the sweetly ingratiating way other people will try to tell you to shape up. Anna is very well-read, which is impressive because as a child she was not a good reader. She is willing to put effort into things that matter. Her wit is evident every time we talk (which is often) and I can't help but wish I were sharper so I could keep up. She is a master decorator and we call her the "Fabric Whisperer." She has written an entire curriculum of Art History for Elementary Schools called "Art Through the Ages" ALL BY HERSELF. Research, projects, teaching tips, she does it all. Anna is not afraid to say, "I don't care about that." and delete projects off her list if they don't measure up to her standards of time-spending. Anna taught me how to clean my kitchen, how to find anything you need at the dollar store, and she also taught me that you can feed kids anything for lunch and if they don't eat it the world will not end.

I am so lucky to have true friends. What's the secret? Why have we stayed so close throughout the years? I think it's because we find the things we are lacking in each other. Our thoughtful acts of service to one another in times of need have made the bond stronger. I love each of them individually and collectively, for their own talents and what they bring to the group. I always know I can count on my girls.